Heart'n'Soul
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Uncle Sam - Here I am!
Well Well Well - US - the land of dreams. Here I come... with no specific dream and still dreaming of a something to change in my life... in a good way. I don know if this land of dreams can really fulfill my dreams cuz they r not about wealth, car, lifestyle or freedom. Nah. But then, I still got a month here and people who call this country the land of dreams must have a reason to do so. So till I am supposed to go back home, lets leave that question unanswered!
Anyway, till now all I have done is worry bout how n what I will do here to survive. Why? Cuz it’s totally opposite what we are. The electric switch goes the opposite way and so does the traffic. The language per say is not an issue but usage is. For example, thank you is a very important word... u reserve it for something huge... but you appreciate it if someone does something for you, even if it’s their job. Which is nice! Very nice I say. It’s nice to get acknowledged isn’t it? Also, problem means something huge. Rest are all issues. And I like that approach too. Cuz issues are really not big. And so, if the small problems in our day to day life become just mere issue... well then all good cuz thrs no PROBLEM...rite...LOL
Here, I have a nice room all to myself.... although its not home and it does get lonely but its a great place still...
Here, I have a nice room all to myself.... although its not home and it does get lonely but its a great place still...
The sky from this place is amazing and the moon is so close that it looks like I cud just grab it and hold it in my hands and then keep it all to myself...
It is just SIMPLEY SUPERB to look at it every night, so huge n so beautiful. I can see the craters clearly forming the shadows on its bright white surface. Hmmmmmm.... how pretty...sigh!!!
I am working at the client site here and I have a nice small cubicle, all to myself... I would love to call it my office - only its not...LOL...
- Thats my small lil cozy cube
- And this is the cafe view, I prefer working out of here as its so calm and peaceful. Just a gr8 view while sippin a cup of coffee!
The work culture also is pretty nice here... very different from the way we funtion. Everyone says hello to you. People don’t just walk past you like you are invisible or transparent. My existence is being acknowledged. Now it may seem a superficial thing, but really its not. It’s just the way of life here. It’s respecting the other person’s presence in the room, next to you, in the lift or in the cafe area. But I guess if we start doing that in India, we would die of sayin hello - considering the sheer number of people we would see everyday... NO?
But behold... alls not well here as well. Like some parts of India, the public transport sucks here too. And unlike our cheap autos and rickshaws, the cab here costs a bomb. And I mean a BOMB. LOL. So does food. Imagine having an all Indian, no frills meal for $6, which is like 300 dollars... I mean it’s a lil like - woho--hullo--wts on man!... when u have had that in just Rs. 20 which is like a quarter dollar. A bottle of parachute coconut oil... the small little one... costs a 150 bucks here... OMG!!! The other day I tried to take a bus cuz I can’t yet drive here and I wanted to go shop a little, and no not for stuff but for groceries... I waited for 20 minutes and no bus came. So I walked 2 miles and back. Everyone looked at me like I was a crazy lady either lost or just crazy to be walking in the sun like this... hehehehe...
This weekend... I din do much. Or shud I say that there wasn’t much to do. Except for Saturday evening 4 hours at Sea world. But those four hours, I became a lil kid. Running from one spot to other, trying to catch up with so many things to see and admire - killer sharks, dolphins, white whales, underwater aquarium, penguins, polar bear, flamingos, seals, ghost fish(amazin stuff).
But behold... alls not well here as well. Like some parts of India, the public transport sucks here too. And unlike our cheap autos and rickshaws, the cab here costs a bomb. And I mean a BOMB. LOL. So does food. Imagine having an all Indian, no frills meal for $6, which is like 300 dollars... I mean it’s a lil like - woho--hullo--wts on man!... when u have had that in just Rs. 20 which is like a quarter dollar. A bottle of parachute coconut oil... the small little one... costs a 150 bucks here... OMG!!! The other day I tried to take a bus cuz I can’t yet drive here and I wanted to go shop a little, and no not for stuff but for groceries... I waited for 20 minutes and no bus came. So I walked 2 miles and back. Everyone looked at me like I was a crazy lady either lost or just crazy to be walking in the sun like this... hehehehe...
This weekend... I din do much. Or shud I say that there wasn’t much to do. Except for Saturday evening 4 hours at Sea world. But those four hours, I became a lil kid. Running from one spot to other, trying to catch up with so many things to see and admire - killer sharks, dolphins, white whales, underwater aquarium, penguins, polar bear, flamingos, seals, ghost fish(amazin stuff).
And of all, one thing that gave me a major kick was the fact that I SAW A POLAR BEAR. The cutest thing in the world. Huge and so so so so so so so so sweet n pretty. OK now I sound like a girl in pink frock to myself so m not gonna say pretty again. But really, it was damn cute.
If ppl who are reading this get some time. Go look up Shamu the killer whale on google. Its show was unbelievable and maybe thts y they call it believe. Dolphins were also extremely adorable.
And guess wt... For both these shows I was in the soak zone and these huge creatures splashed water all over. Drenched would be an understatement. But when did a kid ever bother... so nor did I... I was so excited, and it was all worth it. And I have the pass to go back anytime I want for the rest of the year. I don know if I will but it’s just enough thrill to know that I can. Yipeeeeeeeee!!!
Enjoy the pics and the videos... not gr8 quality but well, my memories nevertheless!!!
Enjoy the pics and the videos... not gr8 quality but well, my memories nevertheless!!!
But I miss home. I miss my family, my friends, my car, my room, everything... and I will be back cuz except work, there is nothing to keep me here. And what is that people don’t want to leave this place is another question that I will leave unanswered....
Labels: Divkiran, enjoy, Life, Missing you, New place, Questions, think, travel, trip, usa
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
I - ME - MYSELF
I am a consultant...with a dancer's soul trapped inside me. True happiness for me is defined in that one moment when the performance defined and designed by me ends, the spotlight freezes and the audience forgets to applaud...yes you read it right!!! Audience forgets to clap in the awe. I wish for the reward of silent admiration generated from the spell of creativity that’s en caged in the confines of my mind.
I am struggling to trap it further and get on with my life, but the dancer fights back. It raises its head once in a while and I succumb to the temptation.
And then the realities of life dawn on me. Every time I open my eyes I see myself stuck in a world where I don’t belong.
So where do I belong then? I don’t know... but I do know what it would be like. I know what I want!
I want to be myself.
I want to setup a performing arts academy...that teaches various dance forms, both Indian and International...cuz I did not have access to it when I wanted to learn
I want to have the courage to fall in love again and share my life with someone.
I want to trust in friendship again, I want to believe that the goodness of human heart still exists
I don’t want to feel empty anymore... I feel lonely but I don’t want to be with anyone either. Ugh! I sound strange now, but I don’t mind
I want to blow bubbles and chase after them again, just like I did when I was a little girl
I want to dance in the rain, splash in a puddle
I want a small house on a beach in Goa...so that I can’t retire there.
I want a cafe of my own...D's Corner...just like central perk...where you will get to listen to retro music and get to watch popular and classy series like FRIENDS
My patience is running out, I don’t want to chase after anything or anyone but my own dreams. I want to save my patience. I want things and people to chase after me... lol
I want a life partner who’s a friend, someone who listens, someone I can grow old with.
I want to adopt a daughter and I want to call her Trusha
I want a golden retriever and I want to call it either Joey or Phoebe
I no more want to feel bad about showing you the mirror and tell you that you have disappointed me. I don’t want to feel bad about hurting the ones who have hurt me. I don’t want revenge, but want to be strong enough to let go and tell them that they are not what they portray and I know… I just tend to give them the benefit of doubt. I don’t want to anymore.
And for all the real "Friends" I have, I want them all right besides me, present right here right now... I don’t like distances...It feels like a black screen and I don’t know what’s happening on the other end.
I want to learn to lie and deceive... not cuz I want to, but cuz sometimes it’s necessary to deceive others and lie to them in order to shield myself from them, to not be perpetually vulnerable to all and sundry.
I want to see the whole world...all nooks and corner. That ways I get to meet you all as well. Would be so much fun!!!
I care, I understand... but now I want to be understood as well. I want to stop caring, cuz too much of it doesn’t seem worth it anymore.
I am a happy person, but with time it’s becoming harder and harder to stay this ways... I don like being unhappy, makes me sick inside... and its got nothing to do with things like job, love, money, friends, myself - nothing. I know how to smile in the worst of the situations and I want to stay that ways. I don want to lose it`.
I want to laugh again, direct dil se and not just on the surface. Haven’t REALLY laughed in a long time. I miss it. My friends used to call me crazy and used to ask me to stop it. They said it was infectious... but not anymore. I want to laugh again just like that
Genuine, Genuine, and Genuine - I am tired of hearing that word, over and over and over again... I don’t want to be called that anymore. Cuz people first say they admire it and then they use it against me to hurt me instead!
I want to have more time to read, to sleep, to be with myself and to explore what interests me, not what others expect me to.
I want to blog more often... not once a week, but once a day.
I want to live, just like I want, just the way I am meant to and not lose myself somewhere in the daily grind.
I want to die the way I am, smiling and with the stone on my grave saying – “A Human SMILES in peace here”
Is it too much to ask for? I don’t want everything, just my peace of mind... and well it will come on its own if I have all this...Just this much!!! ;D
I am struggling to trap it further and get on with my life, but the dancer fights back. It raises its head once in a while and I succumb to the temptation.
And then the realities of life dawn on me. Every time I open my eyes I see myself stuck in a world where I don’t belong.
So where do I belong then? I don’t know... but I do know what it would be like. I know what I want!
I want to be myself.
I want to setup a performing arts academy...that teaches various dance forms, both Indian and International...cuz I did not have access to it when I wanted to learn
I want to have the courage to fall in love again and share my life with someone.
I want to trust in friendship again, I want to believe that the goodness of human heart still exists
I don’t want to feel empty anymore... I feel lonely but I don’t want to be with anyone either. Ugh! I sound strange now, but I don’t mind
I want to blow bubbles and chase after them again, just like I did when I was a little girl
I want to dance in the rain, splash in a puddle
I want a small house on a beach in Goa...so that I can’t retire there.
I want a cafe of my own...D's Corner...just like central perk...where you will get to listen to retro music and get to watch popular and classy series like FRIENDS
My patience is running out, I don’t want to chase after anything or anyone but my own dreams. I want to save my patience. I want things and people to chase after me... lol
I want a life partner who’s a friend, someone who listens, someone I can grow old with.
I want to adopt a daughter and I want to call her Trusha
I want a golden retriever and I want to call it either Joey or Phoebe
I no more want to feel bad about showing you the mirror and tell you that you have disappointed me. I don’t want to feel bad about hurting the ones who have hurt me. I don’t want revenge, but want to be strong enough to let go and tell them that they are not what they portray and I know… I just tend to give them the benefit of doubt. I don’t want to anymore.
And for all the real "Friends" I have, I want them all right besides me, present right here right now... I don’t like distances...It feels like a black screen and I don’t know what’s happening on the other end.
I want to learn to lie and deceive... not cuz I want to, but cuz sometimes it’s necessary to deceive others and lie to them in order to shield myself from them, to not be perpetually vulnerable to all and sundry.
I want to see the whole world...all nooks and corner. That ways I get to meet you all as well. Would be so much fun!!!
I care, I understand... but now I want to be understood as well. I want to stop caring, cuz too much of it doesn’t seem worth it anymore.
I am a happy person, but with time it’s becoming harder and harder to stay this ways... I don like being unhappy, makes me sick inside... and its got nothing to do with things like job, love, money, friends, myself - nothing. I know how to smile in the worst of the situations and I want to stay that ways. I don want to lose it`.
I want to laugh again, direct dil se and not just on the surface. Haven’t REALLY laughed in a long time. I miss it. My friends used to call me crazy and used to ask me to stop it. They said it was infectious... but not anymore. I want to laugh again just like that
Genuine, Genuine, and Genuine - I am tired of hearing that word, over and over and over again... I don’t want to be called that anymore. Cuz people first say they admire it and then they use it against me to hurt me instead!
I want to have more time to read, to sleep, to be with myself and to explore what interests me, not what others expect me to.
I want to blog more often... not once a week, but once a day.
I want to live, just like I want, just the way I am meant to and not lose myself somewhere in the daily grind.
I want to die the way I am, smiling and with the stone on my grave saying – “A Human SMILES in peace here”
Is it too much to ask for? I don’t want everything, just my peace of mind... and well it will come on its own if I have all this...Just this much!!! ;D
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Two-To-TA(n)G(o)
Disclaimer - please don bother bout the spellings...
This ones courtsey Arun
THE 30 Question TAG...PHEW!!!
1.Last movie you saw in a theater?
THE 30 Question TAG...PHEW!!!
1.Last movie you saw in a theater?
The Dark Knight (Heath Ledger is just Amazing)....ARUN m not changin the answer cuz thts the same for me
2.What book are you reading?
2.What book are you reading?
Vector - Robin Cook
3.Favorite Board
3.Favorite Board
GameLudo....lol
4.Favorite magazine(s)
4.Favorite magazine(s)
Mostly lifestyle and auto mags
5.Favorite smells?
5.Favorite smells?
Natural - the earth just wet by first shower of rains, petrol
Artificial - Pleasures by Estee Lauder, Green tea by Elizabeth Arden, Chanel Chance, Nina by Nina Ricci, Femme by Hugo Boss and more :p
6.Favorite sound
6.Favorite sound
Birds chirpin in the mornin, tip tapping of the rain drops, water splash :)
7. Worst feeling in the world?
7. Worst feeling in the world?
Loneliness...When you cant be with the one you love - could be rejection, separation, distance...anything....but the feeling of helplessness to do anything bout it makes one feel so empty and drained.
8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?
8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?
Can I sleep for 5 more minutes?
9. Favorite fast food place?
9. Favorite fast food place?
Too many to name... but I prefer the roadside Dhabas and Chaat shops - same pinch Arun, not changing the ans here too
10. Future child’s name? - ***Arun??? whos HER???
10. Future child’s name? - ***Arun??? whos HER???
Ok i know the ans...i have a long list...u can chose from it if u have a confusion but i shall not reveal the list here ...just the one baby girl name i love the most and thats TRUSHA
11. Finish this statement. “If I had lot of money I’d….
11. Finish this statement. “If I had lot of money I’d….
Travel around the world - wow, same pinch again
12. Do you drive fast?
12. Do you drive fast?
Yeah...but depends on the traffic n urgency
13. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
13. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
Nah...one stuffed toy cnt sleep with the other one...lol
14. Storms - cool or scary?
14. Storms - cool or scary?
Ummmmm....depends
15. What was your first car?
15. What was your first car?
Maruti Zen...the baby still stays
16. Favorite drink?
16. Favorite drink?
Coffffeeeeeeeeeeeeee
17. Finish this statement, “If I had the time I would….”?
17. Finish this statement, “If I had the time I would….”?
I don wan time...i wish i had 12 hrs a day...i don like being idle
18. Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
18. Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
Yep!!
19. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice?
19. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice?
RED...hahahahah, No actually i love my hair color too :)
20. Name all the different cities/towns you’ve lived in?
20. Name all the different cities/towns you’ve lived in?
Arun...i was in Kochi this weekend man!!!! I have lived in Delhi then Pune n now back to Del
21. Favorite sports to watch?
21. Favorite sports to watch?
Indian Cricket, F1 and Lawn tennis, synchronised swimming and gymnastics
22. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you?
22. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you?
Thought provoking man - wt a rare breed...lolJust kiddin...Arun seems to be pretty sensitive about a lot of things and unlike most of us, thy r social causes n not personal....admire tht though his topics are always controversial...lol
23. What’s under your bed?
23. What’s under your bed?
My bathroom slippers
24. Would you like to be born as yourself again?
24. Would you like to be born as yourself again?
Nopes... I am tired of being myself
25. Morning person, or night owl?
25. Morning person, or night owl?
Night Owl
26. Over easy, or sunny side up?Whats over easy????
26. Over easy, or sunny side up?Whats over easy????
....dun know wt to answer....wts the ref. to context and whts the context ;p
27. Favorite place to relax?
27. Favorite place to relax?
Anywhere with my closest buddies
28. Favorite pie?
28. Favorite pie?
Chocolate... I'm a sucker for Anything Choco.. a total chocoholic....ARUN, this too same to same
29.Favorite ice cream flavor?
29.Favorite ice cream flavor?
Chocolate....need i say anything to this
30. Of all the people you tagged this to, who’s most likely to respond first?
30. Of all the people you tagged this to, who’s most likely to respond first?
Not taggin anyone....but whoever reads this and wants to do it, go ahead, wud love to read ur answers
______________________________________________________
NOW THE SECOND ONE....Sameera tagged me for this one
HERS how it works: The rules are:
1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
NOW THE SECOND ONE....Sameera tagged me for this one
HERS how it works: The rules are:
1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
2. Using only the first page of results, and pick one image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Big Huge Lab’s Mosaic Maker to create a mosaic of the picture answers.
The questions:
What is your first name?
The questions:
What is your first name?
What is your favorite food? right now?
What high school did you go to?
What is your favorite color?
Who is your celebrity crush?
What is your favorite drink?
What is your dream vacation?
What is your favorite dessert?
What do you want to be when you grow up?
What do you love most in life?
What is one word that describes you?
What is your user name?
AGAIN...whoever is interested, plz go ahead...consider urself tagged :)
