Upon receipt of news which ruffles more than a feather or two, one feels the blood rush to the cheek and eyes. No you do not know how to handle it. You don't want to know either. You want to slip away quietly. Get out, hide your feelings and unleash the plethora of emotions on someone who will not judge. So you slip away. You do not want to be seen by anyone. No one must know what your mind is going through and the mind is not helping at all in making a secret out of it. Flushed, drained, shaky - you seek solitude. Avoiding darting glances, you stealthily find someplace you can lock yourself up in. You feel the emotions flow down. You want to talk. You want to just talk to someone who will not just get it, who will tell you that it will be okay and means it too. There's noone though. So you sink. To the floor. Telling yourself that it is okay and that it will be better. You wipe your tears. Dilute the emotions with a fake smile. You check in the mirror. Once. Twice. Wishing away the redness. Must wait somemore. The muscles they contort again, as the eyes stare deep into the reflection of the eyes. Not wishing for anything. Just wishing for nothing. Give nothing at all. No grief. No happiness. You pick it up, the sinking smile, the sinking heart, the pang of loneliness. Gulping down a glass of water, you shroud everything you feel inside, brace yourself to face the others, only to find a lonely spot soon, feel the muscles breaking away from the smile - sinking. With noone to witness it.
You survive. Not happily and satisfactorily. But you do
(Thanks Shaifali - for your contibution not just in form of words but also in form my best friend, You always know exactly how it feels)
Labels: hurt, Life, moving on, think
posted by Heart'n'Soul at 11:41 AM