Monday, September 13, 2010
For Now and Forever - VII
He sat on his bed, staring at the dense clouds flowing across his window like a huge mass of white cotton. He thought to himself, only if life was this black and white. The black of the sky and the white of the clouds. - no grays - just Black or White.
He sat their thinking about Grace - all the memories he had of her, the extraordinary moments, the special things she did, every little nuance of who she was, her smile that spread to her eyes, her fragrance, her voice, her touch, the way she loved him, the way she looked at him, the way she smiled when he admired her, the way it felt to watch her cook and fuss at him, the blush on her cheeks every time he said he loved her, the affection in her eyes every time she said she loved him, the way it felt to be loved and be loved by her, the way it felt to love her, to hold her in his arms and to kiss her.
It still felt like it was just yesterday. But with every passing day, he dreaded forgetting how it felt t be loved… how it felt to be loved by her.
He dreaded forgetting her.
He picked up the phone and dialed the number.
It rang. His heart skipped a beat and he disconnected the phone.
This was what he wanted but not what he expected. For more than four years now, every once in a while he dialed her number - the one that was out of reach, or switched off or just busy. The one that hardly ever rang.
He called again.
"Who's there? Heloooooo!"
The unfamiliar voice echoed in his ears.
"Aaaaa... ummmm .... Hi! Can I talk to Grace please?
"Grace? There's no Grace here" said the angry voice
Perplexed and confused, Josh blurted "But it’s HER number!"
"No its not! Who arr..."
The last thread of everything they had was lost. The number that had belonged to Grace for over ten years, the number that had become a part of her identity, the number she wouldn’t give up even when she changed her city - no more belonged to her.
Last four years, that was all that made him feel connected to her. Everything had changed but the number. She did not always use it, but it was her.
And now…... it was gone too.
Josh got up and drew the curtains, closing his window to the world to which Grace belonged.
She was gone forever; her love was gone forever.
“I’m so tired but I can’t sleep
Standing on the edge of something much too deep,
It’s funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can’t be heard”
As the radio blared in the distance, tears filled his eyes while nothingness filled his thoughts and his life.
“But I will remember you… Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by… Weep not for the memories”
More from the series - For Now and Forever:
For Now and Forever - I: If Only...
For Now and Forever - II: PS: I Love You
For Now and Forever - III: You've Got Mail
For Now and Forever - IV: Shall We Dance
For Now and Forever - V: A Lot Like Love
For Now and Forever - VI: As Good As It Gets
For Now and Forever - VII: Gone With The Wind
For Now and Forever - VIII: Message In A Bottle