Heart'n'Soul

Monday, July 14, 2008

For Now And Forever - I

IF ONLY...

He saw her walking down the aisle....................... Lovely in her crisp white wedding gown, adorned with pearls, white tulips resting in her delicate hands, her face radiating sheer beauty from under the veil, her lips tender and luscious - waiting for that wedding kiss. And that was when he knew that this is going to be the moment....

Joshua Mackenzie now knew that she was the one and the only one for him. All he needed was she...........for now and forever.

He remembered everything vividly, turning through the pages of memories. A cine film was playing in his mind. The first time they met, he never could have thought in his wildest dreams to come this far. And now...............

It all began with a sorry.............
Joshua was carefully making his way through the aisle of a book store when the basket in his hand smacked the side of someone’s head. And as he turned to say sorry, he saw a fairy rubbing her forehead gently, glaring at the scoundrel who was strolling carelessly past her.

“Hey!” the angel shouted.
“I beg your pardon, Miss” Joshua said.
“I hope you are ok?”
“It’s fine. But u better watch that suitcase of yours”, she looked up and said. And she saw a perfectly sculptured face looking down at her with concern. Impeccably dressed in a gray suit, a determined jaw, this tall and handsome stranger was truly mesmerizing. A touch of arrogance and a hint of audacity completed his charisma.
“I am really sorry Miss” Joshua said with concern in his voice.
“It’s all right. I am fine”. So he is really chivalrous too, she thought.

And the next day, they met again. At the same book store.
Joshua said “ Hi! Miss ahm...........”.
She said in her tender, velvet voice “Madison, Grace Madison. And you are?”.
“Joshua Mackenzie”, he smiled. She smiled back.
It was as if they came looking for each other, knowing that the other one will be there too.

They found each other in the book store and soon learned that they shared several interests. They began to meet regularly at the book store café and it soon became a daily affair.

One day, seated alone in the cafe, Grace found herself missing her newfound friend.
She called him as soon as she got home.
“Is this Mackenzie residence?” she asked.
“Yes! May I help you”, replied a female voice.
“May I talk to Josh please?”
“Oh! Seems like you have not been informed, but …ummmm… Josh met with an accident yesterday night. He is at Turning hospital.” she replied.
A wave of fear rushed through her. She left for the hospital right away.
She inquired at the reception and dashed straight to his room. She could feel the pang of pain as she heard the doctor say, “ He won’t make it. He has no chances to make it”.
Grace went up to Joshua and looked at him. She slowly bent down, kissed his forehead and whispered in his ear “You don’t want to die. Right? Come on, Open your eyes. It’s me, Grace. I … I… I love you. Please open your eyes”

Two weeks later Josh was up on his feet and was found kissing Grace in his hospital room.

As the time passed, they came to share more than love, compatible in all ways, complete soul mates. Every time their friends talked of a perfect couple, they talked about them. They shared a wonderful laughter, a splendid friendship.

Joshua had never met anyone quiet like her and had never thought he could love someone as much as he loved Grace. He loved her compassion and sensitivity. Grace had found her knight in the shining armor; she loved his passion and vitality. They truly made a picture perfect, made for each other couple.

And then came THE news - Joshua got his dream job…he was now a Journalist at a leading infotainment channel. A dream he had since childhood was to surface. But that would mean less time with his sweetheart. Grace knew her man and she understood.

The rigorous travelling routine left not more than 5 hours each day for the trainees to sleep. And so in the end, he found himself tired and exhausted by the training and the loneliness that the distance from Grace brought.

She was waiting for her man to come home. The bell rang and she opened the door. Joshua stood there with open arms and she fled directly into them.
“You look so drained!” Grace said inquiringly.
“No more”, he said teasingly.
“I know exactly what you need” she smiled.
She led him into the bathroom.
She had lit it all up with candles varying in size and shape. The water was warm and scented.
She slowly took off her nightgown and stepped in to the bathtub and said, “Welcome home honey!”
Later they made love and as Joshua fell asleep holding Grace in his arms, he knew that it has to be like this, Always. Forever.

Another assignment came and Joshua left. The work was really exciting and the only thing that disturbed him was the long separation from Grace. No sooner then he returned from one assignment, he was sent for another. He hated to stay away from Grace and missed her terribly.

Two years passed, and to grace it seemed that this wait would never end. Her knight in shining armor was racing between his love and his work. While his lady love was gripped with the fear that he might never return, every time he went away. To her, Josh seemed more like a visitor than her love. Never know when he will come, never know when he will leave.

In time, Grace completed her Masters and took up a fellowship with a University. This made it easier for her to wait for Josh to return.
Now it was long since Josh had left.
He called “honey! I will be back in a few days”.
Then
“Honey! I guess it will be a few more weeks only”
The weeks turned into months.

Whenever Josh came back, she tried to take her time out from her job, but she started getting caught up in it more and more. She loved her work. And he admired the dedication she gave it. But the bitter fact was that they were spending less time together.

One day when Joshua returned from his mission, Grace told him about a new friend she had made at the university. He was a professor and her Fellowship guide
“He’s so nice. All women at the university are crazy bout him…students, interns, professors…everyone.”

A few days later, Joshua left for another assignment. And when he returned three weeks later, Grace greeted him jubilantly.

“I won the best fellowship award…. They are going to publish my work and I have been invited to teach at the university… And it’s all because of Parker. I am so so so Excited”
“Parker?”
“Parker Davis, that’s his name. He is simply amazing. You know he is so charming that he gave me a special treat despite the fact that I won and I am supposed to treat him for all his assistance and thank him for his guidance”.
“Is he married?” This man is sickening, thought Josh.
“No! Why? You aren’t jealous. Are you?” and she laughed.
“Of an old geek who teaches kids at some University? Nah, no way!”

Next time Josh and Grace met, Grace eluded talking about Parker, but Josh would bring up the name.
“How’s Elvis? Oh! I’m sorry pelvis” and he laughed.
“His name is Davis, not Elvis or pelvis!” she said sounding annoyed.

Next day was their Anniversary. Josh wanted to spend all day with the love of his life. He wanted to surprise his love by finally asking her to be his wife. But grace had some important work at the university. So Josh purposed to pick her up, while in his head he had a great plan for an evening she would remember for a lifetime.

He looked at the ring he had bought for her and couldn’t stop thinking about Grace’s expression when she would see it. It was the same ring she had set her heart on when they visited the Tiffany’s but could not buy since none of them was earning at that time. He could no more wait to make the forever become existent.

“I’ll pick you up at 3 then,” He said enthusiastically.
“Good! This way you can meet Parker. He is dying to meet you. I have told him all about you”, she smiled in excitement.

Next day Josh went to pick her up.
She was standing at the school gate waving at him. With her was a tall, handsome man, probably in his early thirties. Josh loathed him on first look. He couldn’t wait to get out of there.
“I guess its time to leave or we are expecting company?” Josh said scornfully.
“I hope you two enjoy” and Parker left.
“Why did you have to be so rude?” Grace lashed at Josh.
“I don’t happen to like that Elvis .............” said Josh coldly.
“You don’t even know him! And for the nth time…IT’S NOT ELVIS!”
Joshua thought, “ I don’t like the way he looks at you. I don’t like the way you look at him. I don’t like the way we are going. Oh hell!”

The day was all shambles. All Grace wanted to talk about was her new mentor. Most of the evening was spent in a silence that wanted to speak a thousand words. Josh dropped her home and was about to bend on his knees and ask her in the very traditional way to marry him when Grace said “ Josh I want to say something...........”

He sensed what was coming. The pain stabbed right through him even before she could say anything.
“Grace-------” he began to say something.
“You know how much I love you and I will always love you but..........”
“Grace-------” he began to say something again.
But she continued “ ............but in past two years I have done nothing but waited for you. We have spent only minutes with each other. We have drifted apart. We have love but there is no relationship anymore.”
“Grace.............. Please. I will leave everything for you and then we can make a new beginning..........” Daggers were piercing his heart slicing it into numerous pieces.
“No. We both know that it’s not going to work. Why linger on something that is no more there? You love your work. It has been your dream since childhood and I don’t want u to resent leaving it for me. I know you won’t be happy that ways.” Grace shook her head
“Is this has to do something with Davis?” Josh asked.
“He has asked me to marry him”, Grace answered hesitantly.
“And what did u reply?” He asked hoping that it’s all just a nightmare.
But as she said, “ I said yes”, He knew it wasn’t some crazy nightmare. He was torn apart.
“You are the only man I have ever loved and I can never love anyone the way I love u. We will always be best friends”. Grace hugged her.
“Best friends? I was planning to marry you.” Joshua thought.
His eyes flooded with tears, voice choked. Joshua managed to say “We’ll start again..............We’ll find a way..........”
“I’m sorry.” She hugged him again. “ I’m sorry, it’s finished”.
She kissed him on his forehead and left.

With emptiness within him and the ring in his hand, he quietly drove away. The days and nights went past and his desolation just won’t leave him. Everything he did, every little thing, reminded him of Grace. Her memories harassed him viciously. And he wanted to hold on to her, their love and everything that they had lost.

His heart was crippled. The spell of happiness was over and a wave of gloom swept across his life. The ache inside was unbearable. The longing to hold her close and the dream to make that a forever would never realize. The bleeding would just not stop; his heart had been ripped apart.

And then a few weeks later, his best friend called to invite him to her wedding. How could he say no? His best friend was all he had left of his love. And so he went.

And their........................


He saw her walking down the aisle....................... Lovely in her crisp white wedding gown, adorned with pearls, white tulip resting in her delicate hands, her face radiating sheer beauty from under the veil, her lips tender and luscious - waiting for that wedding kiss. And that was when he knew that this is going to be the moment................ The moment where he will lose her forever to someone else’s arms and the dream that once resided in his eyes is going to realize in someone else’s life.

Joshua Mackenzie now knew that Grace was the one and the only one for him. All he needed was Grace...........for now and forever. And he knew that it would never happen.

He remembered everything vividly, turning through the pages of memories. A cine film was playing in his mind.

The first time they met, he never could have thought in his wildest dreams to come this far. And now............... after three years of a wonderful and magnificent journey of love he was standing here alone, empty and tears filling his eyes.

As the priest proceeded with the ceremony, Joshua silently walked away.
The ring lay in his pocket waiting to adorn Grace, unaware of what had happened and of what will never happen.


___________________________________________________________

More from the series - For Now and Forever:
For Now and Forever - I: If Only...
For Now and Forever - II: PS: I Love You
For Now and Forever - III: You've Got Mail
For Now and Forever - IV: Shall We Dance
For Now and Forever - V: A Lot Like Love
For Now and Forever - VI: As Good As It Gets
For Now and Forever - VII: Gone With The Wind
For Now and Forever - VIII: Message In A Bottle
posted by Heart'n'Soul at 5:16 PM

59 Comments:

Divi

Nice one...

I hv no wrds cuz i know whr its comin from.

gd blss ya

Muahsss
Simi

July 14, 2008 at 5:32 PM  

Thnku darling
U r mostly my first readers...lol
muah 2 u 2

July 14, 2008 at 5:48 PM  

Sad that circumstances drifted them apart.They become our master at times.

Cannot blame either one,they both should have worked on their relationship.But sometimes,it's just too late.Sigh!

Awesome short story dear.You narrated it so well,kept me hooked on till the very end,hoping against hope they would get back again :)

July 14, 2008 at 6:30 PM  

@Sameera....nah they wont...Grace is married u see

July 15, 2008 at 1:49 PM  

Ya I know,par dil hai ki manta nahi! :(

July 15, 2008 at 4:19 PM  

@Sameera...lol...

Me n Josh agree :)

July 15, 2008 at 4:21 PM  

All r'ships dun depend on just love and attraction. This story proves it very well.

Very well written!

Keshi.

July 15, 2008 at 5:48 PM  

Thnks Keshi...true... mks me wondr if thrs nethn clld true love n unconditional love !!!

July 15, 2008 at 6:57 PM  

Din know you cud write....and write so well

Nice story Divi. Keep it up

July 16, 2008 at 11:13 AM  

Nice story!! really!! But its really sad :(

July 16, 2008 at 11:32 AM  

@ Arun...Well...its inspired by reality...basically the pt is tht the most beautiful and natural relationship also needs a lot of thngs other thn love, to go a long way... else it may not end well

Thnks for droppin by :-)

July 16, 2008 at 12:53 PM  

First Reaction: Find Grace give her a tight slap and tell her to go back to Josh!

Current Reaction: Find Grace give her a tight slap and tell her to go back to Josh!

End Reaction: Find Grace give her a tight slap and tell her to go back to Josh!

:)

I loved the story!

Good work!

July 16, 2008 at 2:08 PM  

@Ani - Ummm...well i dunno... seems like a vry ideal reaction...but relationships really don wrk like tht...Grace has not been fair but did she really have any othr option...its damn hard to maintain it over a distance, needs a lot of effort...n from both sides, one sided efforts always fail

trust me, me n Josh both wish it wasnt the way it is :)

But thnks for the encouragin words :)

July 16, 2008 at 2:14 PM  

divi.. great one... n stop thinking so much.. keep smiling.. :)

July 16, 2008 at 2:31 PM  

hmmm..I know.. I can actually relate a lot with it :( hey.. thanks for the comments in my blog. I'll come up wid non.controversilatopics soon :) am kinda new to this :)ohh.. u r blogrolled :)

July 16, 2008 at 3:04 PM  

@Arun...like i said earlier, it IS inspired by real life :)...

Lol...will wait for the less controversial posts now :)

July 16, 2008 at 3:08 PM  

Why'd this have to be so sad ?!!!!


I feel deeply for Joshua !

Also made me wonder, whats with men notliking guy frens of the girls...its like patented or what ?!!

July 16, 2008 at 3:36 PM  

@Cinderella
Well, its inspired by a true story so......
They say truth is stranger thn fiction...

And well, i don know bout all men but Josh kinda knew wts comin n so he was jealous... if i ws writin a long play or a book, I wud have explained Josh as someone who is totally not jealous and extremly confident bout Grace ... and at the same time Parker wud be the only one who made him uncomfortable and insecure

Thnks for droppin by :-)

July 16, 2008 at 4:26 PM  

i been in josh shoes .

difference is that grace left cause joshua had alreadly achieved his line of wrk.... which is quite right if thought about maturely..

but my grace left cause she was afraid what would come once i achieve... and that was wrong

were u a reader at the original enduring spirit ?

July 16, 2008 at 5:55 PM  

Hey!! Very nice story...It had the right amount of happiness and pain, quite like how r'ships really are...I feel sad for both Josh and Grace...Neither got wat they want yet you cant blame either of them :-)

Thanks for the blogroll

July 16, 2008 at 7:45 PM  

Hmmm.. Well for a realistic reaction, I would say, she should have talked to him; heard his side of the story with a less prejudiced state of mind and SHE SHOULD NEVER HAVE CHEATED!!!!

Cheating itself is the biggest no no ever!

On Josh's part, He should have understood the need for physical proximity and should have had a word with his boss..

But reality doesn't happen often enough! People do stupid things for their love and to get back at their love!! Long distance relationships are super difficult and I have a first hand account on that! So, I know the pro and cons of it and both sides are guilty in this story of yours... It is like love happened and then came life! :(

July 16, 2008 at 10:04 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

July 16, 2008 at 10:19 PM  

A nice piece of art is how I would put it. The world is out there somewhere and I have just started to realize and get a feel of it.

July 16, 2008 at 10:20 PM  

There's something called True Love...but everyone's definition of it is different :)

Keshi.

July 17, 2008 at 6:28 AM  

@Vishal - nah i wasnt a reader earlier...n this story is inspired by a true story so guess wt...u r not the only one...more people in the same boat...life hai, hota hai...hope u have moved on and are a happier soul now :)...Amen!!


@Apu - thnks...yes, the moments will always stay engraved in ur hrt and will make u smile n cry at the same time, evrytime u think about thm :)

July 17, 2008 at 10:34 AM  

@Anindita - She din cheat cheat, just found someone she cud settle down with...lol
I love the fiery you girl
And agreed...distances are not easy to deal with but people do emerge from tough situations and the relationship becomes stronger...but it has to be both sides at the same time

And well, not all people make love thr first priority...for some it comes after career, for some it comes after trust, for some it doesnt even feature in thr liost of priorities...m glad to have met u through blogger, now i know someone who believes in love so much...hope ur belief stays intact alwys :)

July 17, 2008 at 10:34 AM  

@Saurav - thnks a lot....n thnks for droppin by :)

@Keshi - hmmm...come to think of it, it does exist and yes its diff for evry1...thnks for makin me rethink :)

July 17, 2008 at 10:35 AM  

Why should have this been so sad?
But I really liked it,Div.

Fab! :)

July 17, 2008 at 1:50 PM  

wow! you've written it so realistically, yet in a thoughtfully beautiful way :)

I get it when you say that Josh wasn't inherently a person who could get jealous soon.. but then, people get this uncanny sense of what's coming, most often. it's more about that sixth sense thing about feeling threatened, than plain jealousy.

And about true love, well Keshi is right about people having different perceptions. I believe unconditional love is nothing but a very special comfort level and trust which's shared b/w two people. And the one n the very best example I can think of is a mother's love for her child.

wotever, I just wanted to tell you that I loved reading this post. :) beautiful, it is.

July 17, 2008 at 2:25 PM  

Hey Ayushi...thnks :)

I know, even i wish it was a happy ending...me n josh still wish for Grace to come back like i told sameera too....but its inspird by a true stry so...
a girl n boy, best of frnz, best of lovrs...distance broke em, had to put it across in some intrstn way so this is wt i did...orignal story is even more heart breakin u know!!!

DISCLAIMER - the incidents and names r not real :)

July 17, 2008 at 2:26 PM  

@ Usha

thnks for the compliment :)...i am encouraged to write some more after such reponse!!!

And well BANG ON...mom n child was exactly wt i was thinkin bout when i read Keshi's Answer :)

July 17, 2008 at 2:31 PM  

:(:(:(:(:(:(
well, i guess love n relationships are never ideal, n it almost always has to end sadly..
i lovedddddddddd the way ya've put it together.. it struck a deep chord of reality, from ma own life..
n has prob happened in a lot of others' as well..
sad bvabeee.. but keep penning those stories!- beautiful..

July 17, 2008 at 5:32 PM  

@Jane - Oyeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Look whos back...where were you madame???? krumped n cudnt do nethn else aftr tht??? lol


Thnks, and hope one day and soon our stories will have a happy ending :)

N yeah, i am planin to write sumthn, but since my project is on from tomorrow, dunno how soon...till thn the usual rambling n rantings will be on :)

July 17, 2008 at 5:39 PM  

WOW!! Great post, How could you type in these much? :)


Aneesh

July 17, 2008 at 7:32 PM  

ahem...ahem....I bet I was one of the top five comemntors here but dunno y blogger has a problem with me....Divi

di....pata nahi tha ki u wrte stories too and such a logn one....Wow! Patience ki daat deni chahiye.....liked it....except it being a bit too long ....love the flow di....and the creativity....as ppl tell me....keep the ink flowing LOL!

July 17, 2008 at 7:54 PM  

life is like that only.
Dear friend ,
kindly spare some of your valuable time to knock at my door.
www.manjalyneeyam.blogspot.com
www.manjaly-halwa.blogspot.com
With regards
Not so poor-me.

July 17, 2008 at 8:06 PM  

@ Aneesh & Meghna....well story is a lot longer, written over 3-4 months...but din know whr to publish it so i edited it, deleted all the thngs tht din take the essence away, and posted wt ws left....lol

And Meghna,,,,patience of readers not mine, i took my time but u all read it pura...lol

July 18, 2008 at 11:11 AM  

@Poor me - y the name???

and thnks for droppin by

July 18, 2008 at 11:17 AM  

@Poor me - y the name???

and thnks for droppin by

July 18, 2008 at 11:17 AM  

VERy well written..
And the point which you seem to be making by means of this story is something which i truly corelate with..

It is indeed a Hardcore Fact that love is just not enough to make a relationship survive...thr are many more thngs needed...

I loved it...But u knw na..We always want to see that HAPPILY EVER aFTER..
But practically i knw its not like dat always..
Keep the good wrk going..
Cheeerss....!

July 18, 2008 at 4:05 PM  

Haha, that is nice. Drafting the message somewhere and later putting it in blog :)
I guess I too have to follow that :)

July 18, 2008 at 6:37 PM  

@Aneesh...i do it all the time...else i will forgett wt i was planin to write...lol

July 18, 2008 at 10:47 PM  

Very nice one. Somehow, I thought it would end up like Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na..but it was sad. :(

July 19, 2008 at 2:19 PM  

http://youtube.com/watch?v=uY1ahFCYT5k

only here she is known as Cath...

July 19, 2008 at 4:20 PM  

Nice new look!

Have a good weekend dear :)

July 19, 2008 at 10:26 PM  

diiiiiiiiiii my name is vishv not vishal.... and yes i think i have moved on....:-)... i still get to see her sumtimes... but its ok...i have a new understanding girlfriend now...:-)

July 19, 2008 at 10:49 PM  

i wished till the end that they will be together but...
it is sad but sometimes it is not possible to fight time and/or distance .. and then thisngs like that happen

Very well narrated!

July 20, 2008 at 9:55 PM  

update !!

July 20, 2008 at 10:36 PM  

@Charu...thnks...drop in more often :)

July 21, 2008 at 11:29 AM  

@Solitare : thnks for droppin by...yeah sad but true ...kya karein

@Harsh: thnks for droppin by n sharein the linke :)

July 21, 2008 at 11:31 AM  

@Sameera- thnku dear...thts so sweet of u

@Vishv----sowwwwwyyy, updated it now

July 21, 2008 at 11:32 AM  

@Lena - thnks for droppin by...truely said, sumtme u don know wts happnin n thngs jst take thr own course :(

July 21, 2008 at 11:33 AM  

Div

If she didn't cheat then how the fuck did she agree to marry someone else whilst she was dating another person??!!

Now that is Cheating, with a capital C!! :D

Love may not be the first priority but aren't trust and honesty at the front?????

July 22, 2008 at 5:20 AM  

@Ani...din cheat as in wsnt goin out...told him tht shes marryn sum1 else n ended it...anyway, personla experience says re;ltnshp r not tht ideal, thy r vry tricky

But bang on...exactly the pt...its not jst bout love...thrs a lot more to it...honesty, trust, freindship, roamance, understanding, fun, excitement, companionship, etc etc etc...thr r a lot of ingredients to it...

and as much as i ws tryin to be fair to grace, well i don agree with her either...she shud have givn josh one more chance, especially aftr such a long n beautiful association...but lifes not always fair na!!!

July 22, 2008 at 12:01 PM  

I am still not convinced! :|

I still think she cheated! :(

July 24, 2008 at 11:47 PM  

Ummm ok...m also runnon outta pts to pur fwd :)

I give up Ani, u win ... lol

July 25, 2008 at 9:42 AM  

Hey Div, Finally read the story...it's very well written. Good work! Am proud of you. Kept me glued to the screen.

Don't think so much. Of late, i've come to believe in this - "all things come to pass...good or bad." And this feeling is very well reflected in what Scarlett (Gone with the wind) says "I'll think about it tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day."

July 25, 2008 at 4:22 PM  

@sudu - thnk u...especially comin from u tht i wrote well...makes me proud of myself too :)

Hmmm...well said...but i don like scarlett much...and my tomorrow is long gone :)

July 25, 2008 at 4:55 PM  

OHHHHH


I am such a common man..

Y didn't I read it in July itself ?? I believe I could have saved my relationship. I wouldn't have let my Grace to go to Parker..


Joshua..(Divay)

February 15, 2009 at 7:19 PM  

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