Heart'n'Soul
Friday, September 12, 2008
Poop-Pee Training
In my post about my disastrous visit to Kochi, I mentioned clearly that I am scared of water. Yeah yeah yeah... I'm alive n kicking despite the flooding bath tub that seemed like a monster waiting just to gobble me up and achieve nirvana!!! Anyone who wants to know how to counter the situation plz remember NOT to contact me, cuz I don know how I survived.... REALLY!!
But there’s something else that I am absolutely terrified of and that too - much much much more than water... It’s the stranger loo usage phobia... SEE... even the name is creepy. I know I sound like a crazy lady after my drowning-in-the-bathtub nightmare, but I AM NOT paranoid about the public rest rooms ok! And for that matter even when some sloppy relatives visit our home.
But there’s something else that I am absolutely terrified of and that too - much much much more than water... It’s the stranger loo usage phobia... SEE... even the name is creepy. I know I sound like a crazy lady after my drowning-in-the-bathtub nightmare, but I AM NOT paranoid about the public rest rooms ok! And for that matter even when some sloppy relatives visit our home. I don’t understand how they do it really. I don’t understand why it’s so hard for certain people to flush a toilet and prepare it for the next person's use? Don’t they have the common sense to know that failing to flush results in an unbearably disgusting stench in the restroom. Or maybe they flushed the common sense itself!
Then there's the breed of losers who don’t know the difference between an Indian and a Western loo. PEOPLE... you need to understand that a western toilet seat is NOT... I repeat it’s NOT an Indian toilet and you DO NOT... again I repeat you DO NOT sit with your feet on the edges!!! STOP SQUATTING on western toilets!
And then there are the Men ... the ones who need to know that the world maybe their pee pee place but not the guest loo's in someone else’s house or the common public restrooms. It’s not like they are out their in the open and can swing it whichever way they want!!! Guys kindly FOCUS... TARGET and SHOOT!!!
Don worry, M not gender biases. Cuz I am not too fond of the women who think that wadded up, soggy, blood soaked and stinky sanitary pads look better on the floor or better still INSIDE the shit pot... IT’S A SHIT POT...NOT A PAD POT. UFFFFFF. Ladies: Please read the instructions on your sanitary napkin packs... and in case you cant, read this - it says "DO NOT FLUSH"... Stop clogging the drainage for god's sake!!!
Another thing that I don understand about ladies loo is the drips on toilet seat!!!! And trust me, this one's like a biiiiiiig mystery. Is there some specific reason behind this that I don’t know of? Or are men secretly using the ladies loo? Hmmmmmmmm.....
Oh and my favorite breed of people, especially the relatives... the ones who forget to shit at home and come all the way to shit at my place... the ones who flush the toilet and walk out simultaneously. They NEVER check the bowl after they flush and leave behind the ghastly ruins of their previous meal for other people's viewing pleasure. I have no words to thanks them for providing us with such a magnificent vision, that too in my own house... how talented they must be!
Then there's the breed of losers who don’t know the difference between an Indian and a Western loo. PEOPLE... you need to understand that a western toilet seat is NOT... I repeat it’s NOT an Indian toilet and you DO NOT... again I repeat you DO NOT sit with your feet on the edges!!! STOP SQUATTING on western toilets!
And then there are the Men ... the ones who need to know that the world maybe their pee pee place but not the guest loo's in someone else’s house or the common public restrooms. It’s not like they are out their in the open and can swing it whichever way they want!!! Guys kindly FOCUS... TARGET and SHOOT!!!
Don worry, M not gender biases. Cuz I am not too fond of the women who think that wadded up, soggy, blood soaked and stinky sanitary pads look better on the floor or better still INSIDE the shit pot... IT’S A SHIT POT...NOT A PAD POT. UFFFFFF. Ladies: Please read the instructions on your sanitary napkin packs... and in case you cant, read this - it says "DO NOT FLUSH"... Stop clogging the drainage for god's sake!!!
Another thing that I don understand about ladies loo is the drips on toilet seat!!!! And trust me, this one's like a biiiiiiig mystery. Is there some specific reason behind this that I don’t know of? Or are men secretly using the ladies loo? Hmmmmmmmm.....
Oh and my favorite breed of people, especially the relatives... the ones who forget to shit at home and come all the way to shit at my place... the ones who flush the toilet and walk out simultaneously. They NEVER check the bowl after they flush and leave behind the ghastly ruins of their previous meal for other people's viewing pleasure. I have no words to thanks them for providing us with such a magnificent vision, that too in my own house... how talented they must be!
Its funny how in our kiddy days we all get the same POOP-PEE Training... we all learn how to sit on the toilet seat, do our business, clean ourselves and then push the magical silver handle that makes our creation vanish into that dark little hole. But as some of us grow up, looks like their toilet etiquettes also go down the same dark hole...
So if you are one of them - then be a slob at YOUR home NOT mine and kindly spare the public restrooms too.
