Heart'n'Soul

Friday, September 12, 2008

Poop-Pee Training

In my post about my disastrous visit to Kochi, I mentioned clearly that I am scared of water. Yeah yeah yeah... I'm alive n kicking despite the flooding bath tub that seemed like a monster waiting just to gobble me up and achieve nirvana!!! Anyone who wants to know how to counter the situation plz remember NOT to contact me, cuz I don know how I survived.... REALLY!!

But there’s something else that I am absolutely terrified of and that too - much much much more than water... It’s the stranger loo usage phobia... SEE... even the name is creepy. I know I sound like a crazy lady after my drowning-in-the-bathtub nightmare, but I AM NOT paranoid about the public rest rooms ok! And for that matter even when some sloppy relatives visit our home.


I don’t understand how they do it really. I don’t understand why it’s so hard for certain people to flush a toilet and prepare it for the next person's use? Don’t they have the common sense to know that failing to flush results in an unbearably disgusting stench in the restroom. Or maybe they flushed the common sense itself!

Then there's the breed of losers who don’t know the difference between an Indian and a Western loo. PEOPLE... you need to understand that a western toilet seat is NOT... I repeat it’s NOT an Indian toilet and you DO NOT... again I repeat you DO NOT sit with your feet on the edges!!! STOP SQUATTING on western toilets!

And then there are the Men ... the ones who need to know that the world maybe their pee pee place but not the guest loo's in someone else’s house or the common public restrooms. It’s not like they are out their in the open and can swing it whichever way they want!!! Guys kindly FOCUS... TARGET and SHOOT!!!

Don worry, M not gender biases. Cuz I am not too fond of the women who think that wadded up, soggy, blood soaked and stinky sanitary pads look better on the floor or better still INSIDE the shit pot... IT’S A SHIT POT...NOT A PAD POT. UFFFFFF. Ladies: Please read the instructions on your sanitary napkin packs... and in case you cant, read this - it says "DO NOT FLUSH"... Stop clogging the drainage for god's sake!!!

Another thing that I don understand about ladies loo is the drips on toilet seat!!!! And trust me, this one's like a biiiiiiig mystery. Is there some specific reason behind this that I don’t know of? Or are men secretly using the ladies loo? Hmmmmmmmm.....

Oh and my favorite breed of people, especially the relatives... the ones who forget to shit at home and come all the way to shit at my place... the ones who flush the toilet and walk out simultaneously. They NEVER check the bowl after they flush and leave behind the ghastly ruins of their previous meal for other people's viewing pleasure. I have no words to thanks them for providing us with such a magnificent vision, that too in my own house... how talented they must be!




Its funny how in our kiddy days we all get the same POOP-PEE Training... we all learn how to sit on the toilet seat, do our business, clean ourselves and then push the magical silver handle that makes our creation vanish into that dark little hole. But as some of us grow up, looks like their toilet etiquettes also go down the same dark hole...

So if you are one of them - then be a slob at YOUR home NOT mine and kindly spare the public restrooms too.

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posted by Heart'n'Soul at 11:23 AM

32 Comments:

I am leaving...
SHIT on the way...
;)

September 12, 2008 at 12:47 PM  

Basic common sense is all u need. Here if u go to any malls or airports, someone ppl' just don't care to flush. Wonder if they keep their home toilets that way. Mean/ crazy people who do not care of others who will use it or its just they do not know how to use a toilet.

September 12, 2008 at 12:50 PM  

@Hobo - ewwwwwwwwww...LOL

@Priya - ya man really... how do thy keep thr own loos... and how do thy deal with it whn thy face the same situation!!!

September 12, 2008 at 1:09 PM  

hehehahahaaaaaahahahahaaaaahaha

that was a great one divkiran mouse..!!

i had faced lots of such situations..and let me tell you, i had felt murder is not a sin, those times..!!

and when guys do it 'anywhere' i feel like kicking them on their torso..!!

regarding the sanitory napkins that find their destination in flush pots is also funny...i remember my girl complaining about her room partner long time back..!!

can u believe i once i had seen it in the parking lot of our society...the blooded pads lying abandoned and nearby small kids playing..!!whoooo...!!

when will all these guys get common sense..

anyways had a nice laugh reading ur post..!!

:)

September 12, 2008 at 2:57 PM  

dang...and I thought it was only my house that relatives were conspiring aginst!! :O

Scribblers Inc.

September 12, 2008 at 3:34 PM  

u knw wat I have learnt in college,
"Forget putting the toilet seat down,u just pray that they flush"
:)

September 12, 2008 at 3:48 PM  

Lol!I feel the same when using toilets outside home.Some people just don't think about the next person who is deemed to use the pot,grrrrr.

Cute post,and cuter pics :)

September 12, 2008 at 4:42 PM  

geeeeeeeee that was kickarse.. i as rolling over..
pad pot!!! lol.....

i was away for a while---? n this is what i come back to see on your blog- SHIT!!!

geeeeeeeeeeeee;);););)

n usiing the western loo like the indian omneeeeeee--> bwuaaaah i have strong urge to cartoon that!

September 12, 2008 at 5:49 PM  

missed ya babey!
loveee n hugsssss

September 12, 2008 at 5:49 PM  

n thoser pics in i-me-myself-->
simply kickarse... ya have an awesomeee smile ")

September 12, 2008 at 5:51 PM  

Nice post, hope it helps by educating some people out there.

LOL @ the last one abt the relatives/guests, I remember cribbing about it to my parents when I was a kid... hee hee...

one more thing you can add as a message is, if people are having a bud tummy, they should just STAY AT HOME and not make any visits.

Have a nice evening mate... cheers...

September 12, 2008 at 6:43 PM  

lol... now htis was a funny post...ol...i cant stop laughing ..m sowwie !!

haha...

September 13, 2008 at 4:43 AM  

Yuck yuck yuck!!!!!!

September 13, 2008 at 5:32 AM  

rofl!
yeah..its so vry irritatin at times

September 13, 2008 at 5:53 PM  

WOHA!!!

Sum sarcasm gul!!!

M nvr cumn 2 ur plce, lst m judgd by my toilt mannrs.

but gud read.. ROFL!!!

September 13, 2008 at 10:29 PM  

@Vinu - parking lot...GAWD!!! Do not flush doesnt mean throw it anywhere... good lors, some ladies!!!

@Scribbler - these relatives I tell you...always conspiring...HMMMMMMMMMM

@Sachi - haaan, i know... sharing my loo with sum1 is surely not a good idea!!!

September 13, 2008 at 10:34 PM  

@Sam - cute??? LOL... I thought it was rude n sarcastic as per some ppl here...hehehe

@Jane - my daaaahlin... thnk u for the compliment - muah
** come back to see on your blog- SHIT!!!
LOL, accompanied by some stench as well...hahahah

ANd i am lookin fwd to ur drawin of DO NOT SQUAT!!!

@Arv - I wish it does educate my relatives atlst... my home loo will be spared atleast...LOL

September 13, 2008 at 10:34 PM  

@Samby - u laugh now... u only wntd a non serious post, so ur wish is my command... AYE AYE SIR...LOL

@Sol - hehehehe... don be so disgusted... its all truth da!

@Enchanted - hi hi hi... irritatin n disgustin

@Attaboy - u shudnt have doubted my sarcasm... u have been a subject aftr all :p

September 13, 2008 at 10:35 PM  

Haha!!
Liked it, really!!
Well said, may be you need to put a tutorial on how to use toilet in your bathroom
LOL
:)

September 13, 2008 at 10:54 PM  

@Aneesh - even tht wont help... have seen it in so many public loos... eithr ppl dunno how to read or thy r jst plain blind!

September 13, 2008 at 11:25 PM  

Aaaaaahaaaaahaaaaahaaaaahaaaa
Gld 2 c ur srcsm bck in actn!!!

ROFL.. my tmmyz hrtn nw!!!

September 13, 2008 at 11:36 PM  

@Simi- whr u been girl?
n btw -if ur tummy is hurtin, like Arv said, plz stay home... LOL :P

September 13, 2008 at 11:45 PM  

*PEOPLE... you need to understand that a western toilet seat is NOT... I repeat it’s NOT an Indian toilet and you DO NOT... again I repeat you DO NOT sit with your feet on the edges!!!*

bwahahahaha..LMAO...

the later part becomes a l'll graphically grossed out though..!! :D

September 14, 2008 at 4:03 PM  

btw..you sound like..Cameron Diaz...from "what happens in Vegas" in this post.. :)

September 14, 2008 at 4:04 PM  

Your latest posts and mine..are quiet similar..! :O

September 14, 2008 at 4:09 PM  

Focus..target..Shoot !!

wow, thankxx fr d Fundas.
Lol-ing all the loo :P

September 14, 2008 at 4:22 PM  

@Zubin - thnks man, i wish i looked like her too...LOL

@Debashish - he he he... keep laughin man... but don frgtt to focus...ROFL

September 14, 2008 at 11:56 PM  

Hi,
First time here, i went through I think Keshi s blog. Ur post was freakin hilarious
Specially the 'you need to understand that a western toilet seat is NOT... I repeat it’s NOT an Indian toilet and you DO NOT... again I repeat you DO NOT sit with your feet on the edges!!!' I m used to the western toilet, i did not know about the indian toilet, i just learned there is not toilet paper in the indian toilet!!
Cheers.
C.

September 15, 2008 at 4:17 AM  

@Cess - welcome n thnk u
glad u enjoyed!!! lol

September 15, 2008 at 6:55 PM  

My daughter is about the age to be potty trained. I will reiterate to her that she does not forget her toilet etiquettes when she grows up.
Cheers,
Salil

September 20, 2008 at 9:06 AM  

@Salil - coool.. hopefully she will remeber..LOL... welcome here

September 21, 2008 at 12:18 AM  

I soooooooo had to read this ONE!!! especially after all that talk ;)

OH and you made life easier.. the next time i want to give someone a piece of my mind on loo manners.. i'll just direct em here!

September 21, 2008 at 12:46 PM  

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