Today, I was driving back from work... late at night and there was hardly any other vehicle on the road. It was scary and yet I did not feel like going home. I just wanted to drive and go along with the road instead. There was nothing on my mind. I felt numb, lifeless and drained of all my emotions and energy. Nothing happened to make me feel this ways. Except for the fact that I had a long hard day, it was good. In fact a little better than the usual days at work. So i don't know why I felt this ways, but I did. I realised I need to visit that one place, the only place that invokes a sense of inner peace in me and so I did. And it worked too, it really did!
Its Bangla Sahib Gurudwara in Delhi. No no no, I am not a religious person at all. My concept of religion is very different and I shall leave that topic for some post some day. But I do owe it to my religious background and my family to have introduced me to this place. The vast expanse of sparkling white marble, the golden dome and detailed carvings, the small silent pond and the calm and quiet fishes in it... Siiiiiiggggghhhhh!!!! All kinds of people come here... all sects, all status, all religions.. just about everyone.
What struck me today especially was a lady rite in front of me who couldn't walk properly. She was very very old and couldn't bend her knees. So to do something as simple as sitting down - she had to first bend from her waist, place her hands on the floor, lie down on her stomach, turn to her side while bending her legs inwards from the waist and then sitting up. She still took the pain to come all the way, without any one's help and all alone at 11:30 PM in the night. There must be something about this place, or the religion, that her faith in it is so strong. I have seen too many people doing 'Seva' (service) there. The richest of women clad in the designer clothes and diamond jewellery swipe the floor while the men who drive Mercedes and BMW's serve by taking the visitor's shoes and keeping them in stands. I have seen people getting their new borns here directly from the hospital, even before he/she is taken home, when doctors strictly advice them to keep the infant away from public places. People standing in hot sun and serving water to other visitors, people cleaning the left overs and the "Langar" plates with their own hands and people drinking water from the pool meant for washing the visitor's feet.
I admit, I have never done anything there, I just visit once in a while. I don't have the reason I guess.
What is it about this place or the religion that they need to do all this? I believe its their faith - blind or otherwise. It made me think how I have faith in nothing anymore. How my belief system is not that strong anymore. And that there is nothing and no one that I truly truly have faith in and believe in. Yes I do have faith in certain people and certain ideals, but I don't have COMPLETE FAITH even in myself anymore. Some faith and belief, here and there...but nothing more nothing less. I don't COMPLETELY believe in Love, Friendship, Life, Family, Religion, Hard Work....nothing at all. Everything seems to have exceptions attached to it! Maybe I am too skeptical, Maybe I have seen only exceptions, Maybe I myself am an exception. But whatever it is, there is really nothing that I have complete faith in - no person, no relation, no concept, no ideal - Nothing.
SO you tell me now....
What is it that you have COMPLETE faith in?
Why do you have so much faith in it?
Are there really no exceptions that have challenged your faith?
And if not have you never thought about these exceptions?
And if yes, how do you stick to your faith without faltering?
Lemme know - Lemme know what you think, and I will try picking up the answers that make me rethink about my belief system and put it up in my next post :)
Labels: Belief, Faith, Life, Questions
posted by Heart'n'Soul at 2:05 AM