Wednesday, August 13, 2008
To the end and beyond
For all the calls that will never get through
For all the conversations that we never had
For all the times I felt uncared for
For all the times I have been misunderstood
For all those nights that I have cried myself to sleep
I wish you were here to hold my hand and take me through this thing called life when I seem to have lost my way and can not fathom the truth. When I can not differentiate between what’s right and what’s wrong… cuz my thoughts are obscured by my emotions and my vision is blurred by my tears.
I wish you were here to end this nothingness, this overwhelming solitude. It’s a whirlwind of emotions inside but I still feel so numb...cuz I don’t have you to share it with.
I seem to have no answer anymore, cuz you my friend are never coming back. It’s been six years now, and I still can’t seem to come to terms with the loss. Something always feels amiss, a void that makes me feel empty inside.
Losing you and dealing with it has been one hell of a torture, one that will never end. I don’t think I will ever be able to completely recover from this loss and there will always be those moments when nothing will be enough...just like today!
And I still try to smile, cuz you wanted me to. I still try believing in people, cuz you asked me to.
You have taught me how to be a friend in true sense of the word... How to never take anyone for granted...How to care unconditionally...How to be there always...How to be trustworthy... But there’s is one thing that you did not teach me - how to be without you. How to care about myself cuz I never had to and cuz no one else seems to care enough.
And so, I miss the hug that used to make me feel like I am the most precious person on this earth. I miss that smile that acted like sunshine every time my life was shadowed by the dark gloomy clouds. I miss my strongest shoulder to cry on and the warmth that told me that there is someone who will always love me and need me. I miss those pep talks that made me believe that nothing can ever go wrong,
And you know what Kev...till you went; nothing ever went wrong...And since you have left, nothing has ever been right. I miss you a lot and I always will. And as much as I know I can’t do anything to get you back, I would do anything to see you just one more time.
Labels: Missing you