Heart'n'Soul

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

To the end and beyond


For all the letters I wrote and can never send
For all the calls that will never get through
For all the conversations that we never had
For all the times I felt uncared for
For all the times I have been misunderstood
For all those nights that I have cried myself to sleep

I wish you were here to hold my hand and take me through this thing called life when I seem to have lost my way and can not fathom the truth. When I can not differentiate between what’s right and what’s wrong… cuz my thoughts are obscured by my emotions and my vision is blurred by my tears.

I wish you were here to end this nothingness, this overwhelming solitude. It’s a whirlwind of emotions inside but I still feel so numb...cuz I don’t have you to share it with.

I seem to have no answer anymore, cuz you my friend are never coming back. It’s been six years now, and I still can’t seem to come to terms with the loss. Something always feels amiss, a void that makes me feel empty inside.

Losing you and dealing with it has been one hell of a torture, one that will never end. I don’t think I will ever be able to completely recover from this loss and there will always be those moments when nothing will be enough...just like today!

And I still try to smile, cuz you wanted me to. I still try believing in people, cuz you asked me to.

You have taught me how to be a friend in true sense of the word... How to never take anyone for granted...How to care unconditionally...How to be there always...How to be trustworthy... But there’s is one thing that you did not teach me - how to be without you. How to care about myself cuz I never had to and cuz no one else seems to care enough.

And so, I miss the hug that used to make me feel like I am the most precious person on this earth. I miss that smile that acted like sunshine every time my life was shadowed by the dark gloomy clouds. I miss my strongest shoulder to cry on and the warmth that told me that there is someone who will always love me and need me. I miss those pep talks that made me believe that nothing can ever go wrong,

And you know what Kev...till you went; nothing ever went wrong...And since you have left, nothing has ever been right. I miss you a lot and I always will. And as much as I know I can’t do anything to get you back, I would do anything to see you just one more time.

Love Always
D

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posted by Heart'n'Soul at 5:30 PM

35 Comments:

Take care girl. Emotions play a lot when you think alone and it hurts. Sometimes take the good things what you learnt and keep moving.

August 13, 2008 at 6:53 PM  

That was really touching !!

August 13, 2008 at 6:59 PM  

@Priya - so true,,,,but wt do u do whn its no ones fault...wt do u do when evrythn is exactly how u want and god wakes u upto reality by snatchin away your best frnd....forever...its just hrd n sumtimes its not bearable

thnks for the encouragin words

@Arun - glad u liked it

August 13, 2008 at 8:02 PM  

Really touching!!
Beautifully written.
If you really want to see someone, just wait and you'll see them

August 13, 2008 at 8:08 PM  

That's so heartrending dear.A loved one's loss can never be replaced.

Is he the one you told me about in a comment on one of my posts?

Take care sweetie.Our loved ones are always with us wherever we go.Plethora of Hugs to you!

Muaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

August 13, 2008 at 8:30 PM  

I dont know what to say
...............
but yes I felt something
:(

August 13, 2008 at 10:31 PM  

i am short of words ..i hope it doesn't happen wid me at least ..or wid anyone in the world ...u seem so low ...!!

but dun wrry ..life is not for all u dun have it's all about u have !!

so njoi it wid other thngs and try to 4get it for the sake of gud !

August 14, 2008 at 12:28 PM  

thats something they say time will heal but it wont unless you let the time heal it... Nobody can ever replace someone we lost but you can collect all the good memories and things you learned, take them with you and move on.. Though i guess this post might be just a reflection of a phase you are going through at a certain time point... Sometimes we miss them more than ever but then it again seems all right.. until the next such phase catches with us.

you take care, girl
you are as strong as needed to deal with your own emotions :)

August 14, 2008 at 12:49 PM  

coming to terms with the truth and letting go is the only way to peace.. if only it were that easy.
I wish you find the strength to get over it, and look back at it just like one of those sweet dreams..
take care, div..
*hugs*

August 14, 2008 at 1:22 PM  

such a b'ful one...dis s my 1st visit 2 ur blog...n m sure i ll b dere 2 read all ur up coming post..:)

August 14, 2008 at 6:27 PM  

Dis is amazing... I cud feel every line...

and dis one ws too gud yaa..
"And I still try to smile, cuz you wanted me to."

August 14, 2008 at 6:28 PM  

Hey... amazing...this kinda reminds me of my previous post.."letter to X".....

August 14, 2008 at 9:49 PM  

it's tough to let go

August 14, 2008 at 11:25 PM  

Div HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!

Sometimes we lose ppl to make us realise BIGGER things in life. And it seems so unfair but life has a way of taking something to give something else in return. Both r precious. Th one taken is a loved-one, and the one given to u is a lesson. Not as in a harsh lesson, but the experience makes u value the ppl u hv in life even more.


This was a tearjerker dahlin...Im sure ur friend is watching over ya and smiling now...


Keshi.

August 15, 2008 at 7:34 AM  

Pain...
It is a rare language..
like the primal cry..so true..
i could feel the nailing..
it hurt.
take care..
as Lao Tzu said
"this too will pass"
smile
MIP

August 15, 2008 at 7:22 PM  

Hi...coming here for the 1st time...

Hey that was really good...loved reading...keep writing..

also ur layout s impressive


P.S: Do visit my blog...hope u like my latest post

August 15, 2008 at 9:56 PM  

Where can I get my hand on this Kev and knock some sense into him? Mail him this poem. He will come running back to you.. Else I will just have to drag him back.. *Sigh*

The world is an unfair place Div darling... *HUGS*

He will come back to his senses, after all you are probably the best thing that ever happened to him.. And if he still doesn't come back, he doesn't deserve you hon!!

You cheer up.. No one is worth your tears. If they make you cry, let them go..

>:D<

August 16, 2008 at 2:38 AM  

@Aneesh - thnks :-)
but unfortunately thr r some ppl u nvr get to see again :(

@Sam - true, irreplacebale :)
and yes its the same person--my best friend ever
thnks for the gud darling....felt so much better :)

August 16, 2008 at 8:21 PM  

@Peter - thnks for droppin by
i hope it dosnt happen with anyone either
and yes i do enjoy life and other things I have...just one of those

days otherwise u will mostly find me in a good mood :)

August 16, 2008 at 8:22 PM  

@Lena - thnks girl...true its just a phase and dont ya worry, i am

alrady bouncing back
back to being the happy chirpy myself...lol

August 16, 2008 at 8:22 PM  

@Usha - thnks a lot Usha, this one for my best friend ever who expierd some 6 years back
Just cant hell miss him badly some times and this time decided to pour it out

August 16, 2008 at 8:22 PM  

@Pooja- hey thks for droppin by. glad u liked it

@Debashish - thnks...and ues i really do try to be myself cuz thts wht

my best frind wanted me to be...always :)

August 16, 2008 at 8:23 PM  

@Akshay - hey, thnks for droppin by n shall catch up on ur post
soon...but this was for my best frnd whos no more n not for an X...lol

@Gazal - yes it is, especially if you have shared 18 years of life with someone!!!

August 16, 2008 at 8:23 PM  

@Keshi - thnks keshi...needed tht Hug i guess. missin on ur blog,,,,will be home tomorrow and read up on it...promise :)

and ya, i know he is watchin over me....it was just one of those days when it felt like he is not!!!

August 16, 2008 at 8:24 PM  

@Man in Painting - thnks for droppin by, and yes i am takin care :)

@Rajesh - thnks for visitin :)
shall visit u tomorrow, on a vaccation...one cafe in the whole of dalhousie so just catchin up!!!

August 16, 2008 at 8:24 PM  

@Ani - hey wish u cud do tht...he was my best frnd for 18 yrs...he passed away 6 yrs back :(

thnks for the hug...u all so sweet n make me feel do much better :)

August 16, 2008 at 8:24 PM  

Wonderful...lovly....it touches heart...also it tells about ur situations...
nice posting...

Cheers
Sandy

August 17, 2008 at 2:27 AM  

Oh!!! Yah :(
I never thought about that!! :(

August 17, 2008 at 1:47 PM  

@Sandy - thnks for droppin by
glad u liked it :)

August 17, 2008 at 9:19 PM  

@Aneesh - its ok sweetie...lifes is like tht only :)

August 17, 2008 at 9:26 PM  

You are always welcome dear!Nice to have you back sweetie :)

Muaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

August 17, 2008 at 10:11 PM  

Divkiran

What a piece of writing..!
I was so involved with those words compelling me to read it twice more..!! Missing someone forever is painful...and you had written it nicely..

~~But there’s is one thing that you did not teach me - how to be without you. How to care about myself cuz I never had to and cuz no one else seems to care enough~~

I loved those..!!
I just wish u learn to live with his memories..!!

August 18, 2008 at 1:41 AM  

@Vinu
Glad u liked it so much tht u read it twice....for change this was more like ventin out thn wrtitn sumthn i feel bout and so feels good tht so many ppl still connect to it...I am learnin, cuz like i always say, have no other option but to live so y not smile n do it

@Sam---thnks madame...by the way i nvr went newhr, was readin up through mobile but cudnt post or comment :)

August 18, 2008 at 11:29 AM  

Sigh!!!

I have no words for this, i have seen n felt the frndshp u guys shared... but in ur words D - we have no other option

August 19, 2008 at 1:43 AM  

:(

August 19, 2008 at 1:53 PM  

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