Heart'n'Soul
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Stranger in the making - I
When I was young, I was always known to be the child who spreads smiles and joy around. I would easily befriend new people. I would stand in my balcony and wave & smile at strangers passing by, when I wasn't even as tall as the railing on the edge. Mom says I wouldn't be shy in playing with someone new who visited our house and would settle in their lap without a fuss. In fact I would sometimes shower impromptu kisses and hugs while I welcomed people home in my baby talk.
Like all parents, I was advised to steer clear of strangers, especially in my parent's absence. But they were worried that some day some stranger might fool me and kidnap me - not on context of buying me a chocolate - but simply by just being nice to me, since I was always a friendly child - trusting with my heart and not the head.
The head never really got a chance. The heart always ruled. Love always flowed. Everyone cared, everyone was loving, everyone was nice. Mom and dad scolded me at times, I threw tantrums too. But life was still beautiful - everything and everyone I needed was just across the corner.
BUT THEN I GREW UP...
I have the best people in my life still - my family and friends. I probably even have more in life than I did when I was a child. And yet everything feels incomplete.
There is still the same love, care, concern I get from these people and yet its not enough. I am still friendly, open and honest but its not the same.
The head has started to show prominence. And for some reason it never seems to agree with the heart. And it is not a comfortable change, because its not who I am. I feel suffocated by this wall this head is slowly building around me. I do not see any windows, nor do I see any doors.
Just enough space for my head to breathe and just a tad bit less than what my heart needs to survive.
That is certainly not what I was born as and designed to be. There is a Stranger in the making. And with who I have become, a stranger hanging around me all the time is surely not a comforting thought.
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PS: This is my attempt at starting a new series on how and what life changes as we grow up, trying to recollect and put in words some beautiful childhood memories and some life changing experiences. Hoping that soon the stranger would become a friend too!
6 Comments:
Coming here after ages...no,aeons.
I liked the post.
its' always a stranger in teh mirror, n yes, its uncomfortable n comforting @ the same tyme.. :) change is good!
NICEEEEEEEEEEEE !!
like!
mr.alive
making walls can be re-termed to building a nest, close and safe area where new feelings can blossom, where even the closest of the people have entries restricted, where you require jus one, one who you dont wana share with rest outside, one who will add wid you and multiply to many, one who will make you feel the best.
every bird loves flying for a while but relaxes and retires in a safe warm cozy nest. this is closure of a cycle, end of a day, finish of a start, a much required break. Break, to start a new cycle, a new day, a new start, a new flight.
The evolutionary process of sensorial experiences lead to constant change in thoughts and emotion. While we may carry the same values or principles we behold dearly in our lives, at one point or another this strangeness of being or becoming a stranger plays a dominant part in our lives. Let it be so because occasionally this 'stranger' can tell us who we really are and where our feet finds the firm soil. Interesting.
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