Monday, November 24, 2008


Love, I find, is like singing. You can do enough to satisfy yourself, though it may not impress the neighbors as being very much. And interestingly, we never really stop loving someone; we just learn to try to live without them.

I’ve learnt it from one of my friends who helplessly observed his girl-friend got married to another man (who earns four times more than him). Being shattered with his broken heart and left alone to gather those pieces, he decided “enough is enough” and tried to kill himself. But thank God, we could save him at the last minute.

Sometimes I thought why everyone can’t have their first love as the only love, why? But it rarely does work. Someone always leaves, always!
Then I’ve discovered, love isn’t something to acknowledge how others care for us. Love is to acknowledge ourself that we are worthy to live smilingly, no matter what!

The success of love is in the loving—it’s not in the result of loving. Of course, it’s natural in love to want the best from the other person, but whether in turns out that way or not does not determine the value of what we have done.

I know, I know, you’ll say that when a heart breaks, it feels like frozen in the ladder of life—your emotion dries out—you feel that your world stops spinning and all of your pictures seem to fade black and white. And sadly, pleasure of love lasts for a moment, but the pain of love lasts a lifetime.

But suicide?

Maybe suicide can save us permanently from the pain but having pain isn't a temporary problem—isn't? What is suicide? Suicide is simply telling God, “No God, maybe you’re in recession but you can’t fire me—I’m quitting.”

But my friends, you are not the only person in the group who has faced this kind of ultra-loving experience. Let’s have a look:

Bill Gates’ first love, Stephanie Reichel, left him just after seven months of their relationship and married another man. She felt Gates was good for nothing. Now think, if driven by his broken heart, Bill Gates would go straight to the Seattle Tower and jump over from there? Think, how many windows of opportunities would pop up?

Charles Schulz asked his girlfriend to marry him but his girlfriend replied, “Do you think, your cartoonist profession is enough to give me what I want?” And it was that event which inspired Charles Schulz to grow up as the most widely syndicated cartoonist in the history, with work like Peanuts appearing in over 2,600 newspapers in 75 countries. Accordingly the book, “Where Are They Buried?” Charles Schulz’s income during his lifetime totaled more than $1.1 billion. He even gets enlisted amongst the “richest dead celebrity list” by Forbes magazine.

Even our own, Abhisekh Bachchan has faced more brutality when his fiancée Karishma Kapoor broke their engagement and married a “richie-goochie” man. Abhisekh’s fault? At that time, Abhisekh wasn’t enough successful to mark his own name in the industry. Did you ever feel: “Poor Abhisekh?” Come on, it was God’s master plan—maybe He thought “abhi-ash” would sound better than “abhi-kash.” You don’t have any idea of God’s karishma when he is gonna bring ashwarya in your life. Nyaah!

As per the girls are concern, there are Marie Curie, Joan Crawford and Carly S. Fiarina who have tasted the same pain too. It was Curie’s broken relationship that forced her to leave Poland. If she never left Poland and took admission to Paris University (including facing huge adversity), could she ever become the only person to win two Nobel Prizes in different science fields?

And maybe it was the ignorance from her boyfriend for being just a shipping-clerk, made Carly S. Fiorina determined and helped her to become the first women CEO for any blue-chip company.

So it happens, it happened before you, will happen after you but my friends don’t hold you back in the past and spend your memory with sugar-coated tears. Learn to live your life on the truth and keep your head high. Instead of thinking what you have lost; try thinking what you have that other person is losing.

Yes, tell me one thing what you have lost? You have lost the person whom you love most. Now think, what she(he) has lost? She(he) has lost the person who loves her(him) most, right?

Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the ocean, and missing? That’s the way our mind operates. All you need is already within you, only you must approach yourself with reverence and love. Your constantly flight from pain and search for pleasure is a sign of love you bear for yourself, so you should make love of yourself. Deny yourself nothing—glue your self-infinity and eternity and discover that you don’t need them, you are beyond.

Yes, don’t waste time thinking what you have missed rather invest that time in such way that someday that person starts thinking, “If I have had acted in EITHER way, if …”

As long as I know how to love

I know I will stay alive

I've got all my life to live

I've got all my love to give

And I'll survive

I will survive.
~ I Will Survive (Gloria Gaynor)

PS: This is a guest blog by one of my blogger friends named Roy - extremely inspiring. If you like this, then try visiting http://www.myspace.com/royarya for some more words of wisdom by him. Thanks Roy, for this awesome post, I am glad it’s on my blog and that too at this particular point of time.

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posted by Heart'n'Soul at 4:59 PM


I have survived the worst possible heart break.... I would do it gain if I had a choice....

November 25, 2008 at 1:20 AM  

Love is not the end of the world. I meant for people who either breakup or broken. Ther can always be a girl/ viceversa who will like them coz physical attracton is second when compared to good heart and companionship.

Haven't seen the bithday cake yet.. Is it coming closeby..

November 25, 2008 at 1:21 AM  

@Akshay - kudos man... i am glad thr r more people who think this ways :)... it needs courage and so u r sure one hell of a soldier

@Priya - Bday cake...LOL... its not tht soon girl :)

November 25, 2008 at 1:24 AM  

awww... just when i finally got convinced to invite you as guest blogger for tuesday love ramblings i read this post is not yours :x
But i do agree with each word said here, so very true and very beautifully written :)

PS: still want you as guest blogger for TLR

November 25, 2008 at 2:01 AM  

well written by Roy... liked it a lot...

hmmm... now let me think more on it :)

take care... cheers...

November 25, 2008 at 8:41 AM  

A great post :)

Roy has always written inspirational posts this very great way :)

Loved it!!!

November 25, 2008 at 12:38 PM  


my name is montu rajoriya from india
I am a graphic designer
Web Development ,Software Development,
Animation Movie,SEO,Linkexchage Work

i love my work and my fashion

I like your blog
Very nice blog you have

give me a comment
if you have gmail or msn account then plz add this ids


November 25, 2008 at 2:13 PM  

@Lena - hey m game for it... wt say i write sumthin before next tuesday n send it to you???

@Arv - do u have time to think...LOL... with all those meetings??? and JADs???

@Warmsunshine - yes true, inspirational as always... :)

@Mohan- thnks for visitin

November 25, 2008 at 5:11 PM  

what you said is right, in a sense. But, what it comes down to finally is, how much one can endure. People are different. There are people easily broken, there are people who can make up things quickly. Similarly, when love fails, some just cannot stand it. But, looking at the positive side is what we need and that's what you mentioned. But, reality is far away. How many people have wasted their lives 'coz their first love failed. Even though they didn't suicide they cannot make their life worth later. But, it all comes down to us. What we do and our choices. Sometimes, things really measure the strength of our heart, if we hold on, we win.
Good one :)

November 25, 2008 at 8:21 PM  

@Aneesh - WOW... u wrtin sooooo long... mere post pe to kabhi nahi kiya - HAHAHAHA

Ok just kiddin and have to agree with evry word u said... true we all are diff but we all have the same options to chose from... some do it rite, some dont and the rest just don know wt to do... but wtever it maybe, lifes too shrt n too precious to waste for sum1 who dosn value you - F**k em is the mantra!!!

November 25, 2008 at 10:55 PM  

That was a well constructed post... Had so many facts. :)

And yeah, as Priya already said: It's not the end of the world. We have to try and move on (Yes; easier said than done...)

But as the French say - C'est la vie...

Tht was a chmall break in between posts. :) Hope all is well.


November 26, 2008 at 1:33 AM  

very well written that s for sure, love is never easy nor break up or broken heart is, we just have to deal with it. I guess everybody has his own to deal with it, some take it harder than other, take more time to heal, but we all go trough at some point...
Hope ur friend will go on with his life and move forward.

November 26, 2008 at 4:54 AM  

A very inspiring post!Great job Roy :)

Loved the title,Iris if one of my fav songs ever!

November 26, 2008 at 4:33 PM  

mmmm, Arey!! mujhe aisa likhne keliye mere type post milna chahiyeh, samjha didi?

November 26, 2008 at 8:56 PM  

would love you to do it before next tuesday if you manage :)

you know my email id, right? :)

November 26, 2008 at 11:23 PM  

Amazingly written. Specially loved the examples of the great people who went ahead and achieved success ... Will definitely visit Roy's site.

I wish people would learn to grow with the love they have within and the experiences they live through. For every person always has more love to give for those who are still looking. Sigh !! Giving up is Never the answer. Sure, it hurts but then every thing worth experiencing has a price, small or big !!

November 26, 2008 at 11:33 PM  

yes me too have suferred a heart break..it feel really bad...

November 27, 2008 at 2:00 AM  

Yes, tell me one thing what you have lost?
have lost someone i love so very much..
You have lost the person whom you love most. Now think, what she(he) has lost?
He/she has lost me- but i was never worthy of him in the first place..
She(he) has lost the person who loves her(him) most, right?
i miss him tons, i'm sure he does too- but that's the irony of life..

my fav expression of late is 'the show must go on'
n sadly. sometimes. we jus gotta move on with no reason/no choice!

and in the end, we are expected to survive- those who do experience the magic n irony of life, those who resort to downfall/suicide/depression lose the experience of a lifetime, n become puppets of irony!

love n hugs babe..

November 27, 2008 at 4:38 AM  

@ Akshay—Every heart break is worst dear. But you know, nothing good gets away.

@ Lena—Liked your idea abt “TLR”

@ Arv—Thank you for your liking & the compliments too.

@ Mehreen—Hey sun shine girl. Thanks for always radiating your shining compliments on my post

@ Aneesh— You know what:


You can’t change the “event” dear, but you can change the “outcome” by changing your “response.”

I’m asking you a question. When you started your education, who were the students you looked for the guidance? The ones who never completed high-school as they are the maximum—the reality?

Dear, it doesn’t matter what the majority is doing. It’s all about what is right and we should do.

Of course, being optimist doesn’t give you any guarantee for happy ending, but it surely gives you a better journey.

Thanks for putting your thoughts.

@ Kartz—Yeah, so many facts (though I hv deleted some. But I don’t call them facts, I call them EXAMPLE. Thanks for liking it.

@ Cess—Hey, Exactly. As I said, we never stop loving. We try to learn to live without them.

@ {Sameera}—Hi, thanks! Actually, IRIS is one of my fav too. As I was looking for an inspiring title with the love aspect I found it perfect.

@ Adisha—Thanks for the nice words. I believe, if losing is right, it happens. And sometimes it’s better to leave our heart broken than try to hurt ourself putting it back together. Why? Because, relationships are like glasses.

And giving up doesn't always mean we are weak; sometimes it means that we are strong enough to let go

@ Rakesh— A song for you:

Now there's no welcome look in your eyes when I reach for you.
And now you're starting to criticize little things I do.
It makes me just feel like crying, (baby).
'Cause baby, something in you is dying.
~ You've Lost That Loving Feeling (Righteous Brothers)

She is also losing something, day by day.

@ Jane—Yes, though I call it “living life with the truth.” Coz we never can move on, leaving any pain behind. We hv to speed up in spite of them. Most importantly, knowing ourself to be venerable, we’re freed to live more passionately and fully … than we have before, to discover what’s worth fighting for and who we are … real strength lies buried at the depths of any wound we have SURVICED.

Thanks you all.

November 27, 2008 at 12:28 PM  

good one

November 27, 2008 at 1:04 PM  

brilliant!! absolute stunner!! hats off yaar..

November 28, 2008 at 4:28 PM  

The first timer love is usually not successful because I think when it happens we are in our teens, we dont understand the spirits of love... for an ordinary youth love is always something physical, until and unless their lover is not close to them physically, they think its not being fulfilled...
its in fact nature of people, they correlate love with material things... which is not true...
ppl say that love needs trust but i say that the finest love is that which involves sacrifice.

November 29, 2008 at 3:29 PM  

Div I hope ur safe wherever in India u r right now. TC n HUGS!


December 2, 2008 at 6:25 AM  


Just a TINY clarification : by saying " giving up is Never the answer, sure it hurts..." i meant " suicide " which I'm sure even you agree is never the answer ...

But I DID love your statement about Giving up being a sign of strength. Fully agree to it !!!


December 3, 2008 at 8:08 AM  

Was just wondering how I missed this blog! Well, just wanted to share a few thoughts on heartbreaks and heartaches.

Let's say she had left you, she was not true to you. Granted, but at the same time your emotions, your feelings were true to her. Then why insult your own feelings and emotions by doing something stupid.

Don't ever fall in love, it would almost always end up in a heartbreak. Try to rise in love and trust me, you would never be left alone.

When going through a heartbreak don't try to find answers to too many questions. You can't always have answers to everything.

Losing a love maybe the end of the world for some, but it's not the end of life. Life is what you had shared with her, that life is more precious to be destroyed.

December 4, 2008 at 1:15 AM  

"The way your heart sounds
makes all the difference
It's what decides if you'll endure
the pain that we all feel
The way your heart beats
makes all the difference
In learning to live
Spread before you is your soul
So forever hold the dreams
within our hearts
Through nature's inflexible
I'm learning to live"

Dream Theater

December 13, 2008 at 10:00 AM  

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

January 22, 2010 at 8:54 AM  

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